Kakistocracy

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Fictional Ideology
"The party would like to remind you this ideology has never existed" - Ingsoc
This article is about a fictional ideology and has no foundation in real life political movements.

"Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn't."

Kakistocracy is a non-quadrant ideology. Kakistocracy itself is the proverbial "Rule of the Stupid" or more literally "Rule of the Worst", and while the concept of Kakistocracy has existed for as long as stupid people have ruled, the concept of Intentional Kakistocracy is a newly created phenomenon.

Whether it be Protest Voting, Political Kneecapping, or Anarchist/Primitivist , Accelerationism, there are all sorts of reasons to intentionally put stupid people in positions of power over the state. Alternatively, you could use Kakistocracy as a kind of "Stress-testing" for a political system, making sure that even when the dumbest, laziest people are in power, everything holds up alright. Looking at you, Democracy! And sometimes, you just want to watch the world burn.

Of course, Kakistocracy wouldn't know what you were talking about if you told him all this. He doesn't know the dark and terrible power of Political Cynicism that he wields, and is happy to just play around.

Currently being practiced in every country. Yes, even in YOUR country.

Hiztury

While there have been rulers of questionable intelligence since pretty much the beginning of the concept of ruling itself, the term for it (Kakistocracy) has only begun to be used around the 15th century, with the earliest known use of the term being in Paul Gosnold's "A sermon Preached at the Publique Fast the ninth day of Aug. 1644 at St. Maries".

The term has then occasionally appeared in various texts through the centuries, particularly in the 19th century.

In the early 21st century Kakistocracy has become the subject of the sci-fi comedy film Idiocracy in which stupid people have outbred the smart people, leaving the year 2505 an absolute hell-hole (Won't spoil the rest of the film because it's actually funny).

The usage of Kakistocracy in the Polcompball community started with a post by the user ErinsHere on the r/newwackyideologies subreddit called "Kakistocracy, A Real Actual Word With A Real Actual Definition", the ideology later appeared by the comic on r/polcompball by the same user titled "A New Ideology Gets Some Advice (Kakistocracy. Look it up)".

'Murika Frick yeh

Many Americans consider the United States to be a country governed by the unfit, and many politicians have done their best to prove this true. While far from a recent phenomenon, the proliferation of technology has increased awareness of some of the more bizarre statements made by politicians in the country. Some examples include Joe Biden referring to someone as a Lying Dog-faced Pony Soldier, Obama claiming to have visited 57 states, Carter's translator seeming to imply the latter wished to grasp the private parts of the people of Poland, Ronald Reagan claiming trees cause more pollution than cars, LBJ showing off his private parts, as well as much of Trump's tweets which became infamous for coming off as unprofessional at best. However, three presidents tend to stand out for their dumb actions: George W. Bush, Herbert Hoover, and James Buchanan.

George W. Bush(mIZuNDaREstIMaTeD)

George W. Bush, aka "Dubya", was known for his many "Bushisms" as president. Bushisms are defined as unconventional statements, phrases, pronunciations, and semantic and linguistic errors made by Bush often while speaking publicly. These Bushisms gave the impression that Bush was of low intelligence and were often used to mock the president, especially by Political Satirists such as Jon Stewart. Some Bushisms include:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

"Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best."

"They mis underestimated me."

And of course there's the classic:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, 'Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again.'"

Herbert Hoover (pRuZpeRiTy iZ RiGt uNDAr dA CoRnaR)

W.I.P

James Buchanan (hIzTuRy WiL ViNdIcAtE HiZ mEmOrI)

James Buchanan is considered one of the worst US presidents because his actions made the Civil War unavoidable. His previous post as the ambassador to Russia resulted in the misconception that he was highly skilled in diplomacy when he was really sent there by Andrew Jackson to kick him out of politics, meaning he lacked any experience required to rule. When James Buchanan won the election in 1856, he was labelled a "doughface" for taking a pro-southern (pro-slavery or pro-States' rights) stance despite being a Northerner. He is accused of "nudging" the judges in the Dredd Scott case to rule that black people cannot sue for their own freedom and don't count as citizens. In 1861, when the CSA broke off, Buchanan did nothing. After losing the re-election he claimed "History will vindicate my memory from every unjust aspersion.", which was not true.

Go Rush B Suka Blyat

As a country with a long history of political instability, Russia has had several leaders and movements which could be deemed as kakistocratic.

Tsar Nicholas II

W.I.P

Konstantin Rodzaevsky

Despite being a prominent figure in the Russian fascist scene, Rodzaevsky still held some bizarre beliefs, such as that the Soviet Union would collapse in 1938 (when in reality it lived well into the Cold War and wouldn't collapse until several decades later) and that Hitler did not want to colonize Russia as accordingly, he had "changed his mind" on Russian people, despite Hitler never making such a statement.

At the end of the war, Rodzaevsky changed his mind and started supporting Joseph Stalin, believing that he removed all "Jewish influence" from the USSR and transformed it into a nationalist regime. He turned himself in the Soviets, who promised him freedom and a job as a journalist. In reality, this was a lie, as Rodzaevsky would be arrested and executed shortly after his return to the USSR.

Anu cheeki-breeki i v damke

Ukraine has had several unqualified politicians in charge since it obtained independence, with several of them doing stupid things which eventually cultivated into memes, such as Azarov butchering his Ukrainian by misusing the 'i' [i:] letter, Yanukovych having a golden toilet in his private residence and a loaf of bread made out of gold, Klychko saying "піська" (dick) instead of "після" (after).

Volodymyr Zelensky

Volodymyr Zelensky was accused of being kakistocratic, since he had no political experience before being elected as president. He was also accused of being a drug addict, after showing supposed symptoms of cocaine addiction. Another reason for the accusation is the recent counter-offensive, which despite massive funding and supply of high-grade weapons made almost no gains in exchange for severe casualties and the loss of almost all Leopard-1 & 2 tanks, Bradley's and the UK Challenger 2 tanks. The offensive has reached such a point that Ukraine has resorted to using human-wave-esque tactics against russian positions at a massive loss for very little gain.

On the diplomatic side, in talks with Joe Biden over weapons shipments, he managed to make Biden lose his temper when asking for more resources. His appointed diplomat actively insulted China and India as having "Low intellectual potential" when asking for military aid, fumbling the diplomatic effort completely. Other cabinet actions include the straining of relations with Poland, one of the chief supporters of Ukraine in the conflict.

Yurii Khmelnytskyy (Dad plz be proud of me)

WIP

Bogdan Hristoz

Bogdan Hristoz is a Ukrainian Instagram celebrity who became a meme. He has made several strange statements: "There is a neighbor living in my wall with whom I communicate through a hole in the socket, who whispers satanic statements to me", assures that Jesus himself came to him, who then flew out of the window and was seen by his "neighbor in the wall". A radical supporter of patriarchy and domestic violence, claims to drink some strange "pills for faith" given to him by a priest, assures that he has a business in Poland. Some people found his real place of work - a bio-toilet cashier. Hristoz has show absolute illiteracy, lack of sense of humor, naivety and hatred for the poor (although he himself is a peasant).

Illya Kyva (yA MaLeNkI gVynTik)

WIP

Ur going to Brazil

Many Brazilians consider Brazil a country ruled by people unfit to govern (actually this is a fact) and countless presidents have already said dumb and funny phrases, such as ex-president Sarney trying to speak English, Collor cursing politely, FHC saying "It's not to make everyone rich. I don't even know if it's worth it, because the rich life, in general, is very boring", but the biggest crazy things said were said by Lula, Dilma and Bolsonaro. Another example would be pornographic actresses entering politics (Elisa Sanches, Tigresa Vip and Kid Bengala) and deputies talking crazy, as former deputy João Alves said in a statement about corruption "Easy. I won everything in the lottery. I won 125 times in the last two years", Arthur do Val said after visiting Ukraine "...Four of these were girls that if she shits you clean her *** with your tongue" and deputy Otoni de Paula debated in the chamber about the trans barbie.

  • Lula - Current President Lula has already made several crazy statements such as: "Pelotas is a pole city, exporter of fags", "Imagine a guy being accused of suicide and he wasn't the murderer, what's that the family of the deceased wants him to be killed" or who doesn't like to read because he's lazy.
  • Bolsonaro - The former president Bolsonaro, before becoming president in 2019, was known for his crazy and somewhat radical phrases, which he was called to programs TV shows because of their homophobic lines, such as Superpop and Cases of Family. In 2018 in his presidential candidacy, his supporters took theirs and converted them into "mitadas" with botched video edits of him wearing sunglasses with the "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT" meme (see). During his presidency, the response to the pandemic was marked by controversies, such as the time he supported chloroquine. (still supports) He was also accused of committing arson in the Amazon forest (actually just ignored the fires until it was too late).
  • Kogos - Paulo Kogos is an Ancap youtuber and political commentator, owner of the channel Ocidente em Fúria. He is known for his fringe and conflicting political ideas, conspiracy theories (example) and childish behavior. In one video, he said that the only effective solution to stop school shootings is to give high-caliber guns to elementary school children. He advocates for unrestricted free speech and opposes the use of state force, but he had called on the police on two occasions to arrest some trolls. Also, he defends the re-establishment of the Inquisition and the Crusades, which is not something that would come from an Ancap, and has shared several times his hate for Anatel (National Telecommunications Agency, weapon of the Global Elite) because of bad internet connection.

Dilma Roussef (sAlUdaU mAnDiOCa)

Dilma Roussef was the former president of Brazil from 2011 to 2016, after being impeached. Her government was marked by corruption, unfinished works, protests, increased violence, increased poverty, scrapping health and education, alleged control of Lula (accusations), rising prices, inflation and of course MEMES.

Several of her speeches became memes on the internet and even became songs, the most notable being the time that after sanctioning corn day, she said "We have mandioca and we are communing mandioca with corn... I'm saluting mandioca" and said "When we create a ball, we turn into homo sapiens, or women sapiens" (a meme remix about both lines). Another remarkable speech was when she said "I don't think whoever wins or whoever loses, whoever wins or loses, will win or lose. Everyone will lose" becoming one of the brands, along with "We will not set a goal. We'll leave a goal open. When we reach the goal, we double the goal". In a UN speech, she brought up a discussion of stockpiling wind.

After several crises, they generated several protests around Brazil, causing her to have an approval of only 7.7%, the impeachment after accusations of fiscal pedalling, even though she and some leftists say it was a "coup";

Welcome to Bolehland

Many Malaysians consider Malaysia a country ruled by people unfit to govern (actually this is a fact) since the premiership of Muhyiddin Yassin and countless politicians and ministers have already said dumb and funny phrases and stunts, such as Wan Fayshal's helicopter money solution to solve economical problems, Tajuddin Abdul Rahman's press conference on the LRT crash accident which he said "Normal... only the two cars are together... they kissed each other..", and Rina Harun's cleaning stunt, apart from crazy things said by Bung Moktar Radin (vulgarity in a Parliamentary session and praising Hitler after the 2014 World Cup finals), Ahmad Faizal Azumu (claiming that the Orang Asli ethnicity should improve itself before asking for aid), Zuraida Kamaruddin and former Health Minister Adham Baba.

Mahiaddin Yassin (AbAh pErDaNA MeNtERi pRiHaTiN dEmI nEgArA)

Mahiaddin Yassin was the former Prime Mangkuk Minister of Malaysia from 2020 to 2021. His government was marked by controversial statements, party-hoppers, protests, bureaucratic complications, COVID-19 mismanagement, abuse of emergency powers (accusations), high living costs, unemployment, acts of treason against the monarchy (accusations) and of course HASHTAGS.

Due to the State of Emergency that was enacted in 2021 that was intended to curb COVID-19 (which actually didn't work as cases skyrocketed during the emergency period), several activists claimed that Mahiaddin had abused his powers to consolidate his position especially when several BN lawmakers declared a motion of no confidence, apart from civil rights abuse when the State of Emergency included violation of free speech. A series of protests then erupted, such as:

  • #Undi 18 (Vote 18) protests (in response to the delay of the constitutional amendment on the voting age)
  • #Buka Puasa Buka Parlimen (Open Parliament Open Fast) protests (as Parliamentary sessions were suspended during the State of Emergency)
  • #Bendera Putih (White Flag) movement (an act of raising the white French surrender flag to seek assistance in terms of food, medication, etc.)
  • #Bendera Hitam (Black Flag) movements and the #Lawan (Rival) protests in response to the Mahiaddin Cabinet, which the latter has said to be full of "bowls" (Mangkuk, a pejorative term to refer to dumb people) and the Mahiaddin government was called #KerajaanGagal (Failed Government) for the same reasons.

Mahiaddin later repealed the Emergency state without debating the Emergency Ordnance in the Parliament (because why not), which the government was then called #KerajaanDerhaka (Government of Treason) as he recalled the emergency ordnance before the Yang Di-Pertuan Agong.

After his resignation as Prime Minister, his appointment as the President of the National Decay Recovery Council sparked controversy due to his poor track record, which eventually led to the worsening electoral performance of Perikatan Nasional, until late-2022. During election campaigns, Mahiaddin made several Freudian slips, which including urging supporters to "distrust Perikatan Nasional" instead of "distrust Barisan Nasional" (which was later corrected) in 2022 and urged Indian voters to "Vote Barisan Nasional" instead of "vote Pakatan Harapan" in 2019.

Adham Baba (MiNuM AiR sUaM rAwAt KoBiD)

Former Minister of Pseudoscience, Luddism and Degradation Science, Technology and Innovation of Malaysia Adham Baba sparked controversy during his tenure as Minister of Unhealth Health from 2020-2021. These included several pseudoscientific statements and stupid stunts including:

  • Incorrect demonstration of surgical mask use
  • Claiming that warm water helps to "flush away" SARS-CoV-2, where it would be killed by stomach acid (despite without scientific evidence)
  • "WHO conference call with 500 countries" statement
  • Spanish Fly (Freudian slip of "Spanish Influenza (Flu)") killed a million people statement

Such stunts eventually lead to criticisms by the predecessor Dzulkefly Ahmad, urging Adham to let the former's two deputies either take charge of the ministry's decision-making or resign. He said many were confused by Director-General of Health Noor Hisham's emphasis that he was just a 'messenger' and did not provide a scientific explanation behind the decision.

South American nazi shelter

Isabel Peron (BeTaR ThAn JuAn)

Isabel Person is considered to have been incredibly unqualified because she did not have higher education and dropped out of school after failing to pass the 5th grade. She only got to power due to being Juan Peron's wife. Her lack of intelligence reduced her to a mere puppet of Jose Lopez Rega. Her attempts to reduce debt by printing money only resulted in more inflation. She also betrayed the labor movement, helping the AAA massacre suspected leftists. Her actions resulted in her being overthrown by Videla and his supporters.

Nacho mango chimichanga

Peña Nieto (No FuE aLbUr No SeAn AsI)

Enrique Peña Nieto is the former president of Mexico from 2012 to 2018. He is considered to be one of the worst presidents in Mexico's history. Some of his phrases became memes in the Mexican community due to how stupid they were. Some examples include the time when he said that 5 minutes is less than 1 minute, the moment he tried to speak English (and failed to do so), or when he said "I can say that the president of the republic drinks Coca-Cola every day, Coca-Cola Light."

stronger than you equator guinea pig

Equatorial Guinea is a considerably poor African country, having one of the worst education indices in the world, 13th in infant mortality (2020, according to the UN, human rights abuses and a high degree of Corruption. It had 2 presidents during its history and according to the Democracy Index, it is one of the most authoritarian countries in the world, even more than countries like Saudi Arabia and Russia, also one of the most difficult to open a business according to the Heritage Foundation.

Francisco Macias Nguema (DeRe iS nO GaWd bUt hE)

Francisco Macias Nguema was the former president of Equatorial Guinea between 1968 and 1979, in which his totalitarianism made his nation known as African Dauchau, African Pol Pot, one of the worst dictators and self-declared "Marxism-Hitlerism". Estimates point out that he killed about 6% to 15% of the population (at the time, about 350,000), in total dying from 20,000 to 80,000.

He was a man considered mentally ill, manic-depressive, paranoid, violent, psychopathic and megalomaniac. In power, he censored the media, completely isolated the country and abolished private enterprise and private individual life (completely, somewhat similarly to 1984). He created a black ethnostate of the Fang ethnicity, ordering to kill, rape and torture anyone who was of another ethnicity, evident in the mass rape actions and campaigns and in his following line "Kill the white, rape the women, you have the right to loot, death penalty for anyone who helps the white man! We are at war against Spanish imperialism! The loggers are our enemies!", he also ordered the killing of immigrants with inhuman torture and humiliation, such as the placing of ants with iron. in their bodies. Several schools were closed and the ones that remained were scrapped and indoctrinated, in which he himself indoctrinated the students, and also persecuted intellectuals for wearing glasses. He was also a cannibal, in which he ate, broke and decorated the skulls and heads of enemies, some of which he personally stabbed. One of his main marks was his attachment to Nazis and Hitler, whom he praised numerous times, also clinging to Francisco Franco, Idi Amin, Bokassa, Kim Il-sung and the Falangists. Catholicism, which is the predominant religion in Guinea, was first modified to idolize it, but later it was banned, with the death penalty and even crucifixion of followers, in addition to the word Jesus being banned, destroying the churches, ordering to defecate in the bibles and prohibiting ceremonies and religious celebrations (wedding, funeral, Christmas, Easter, etc). Even though the state was atheist, there was a cult of personality, in which he was regarded as god and creator of the universe, giving God authorization, together with forbidding the word "intellectual". There was sexual blackmail, children in the military, widespread hunger, complete destruction of the economy and infrastructure, banned bread, robbed banks, increased infant mortality, a life expectancy of only 30 years, end of agriculture and industries, and support from the communist blocs. He has managed to earn the ire of even his own nephew Teodoro Mbasogo, who deposed and killed him in 1979, becoming president consecutively.

Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo (whY diD U KiwL uR GaWd NepEw)

Teodoro Mbasogo has been the current president of Equatorial Guinea since 1979 (43 years). Even after an improvement in the economy and in foreign relations, and being saner than his uncle (the bar is so low, that almost anything goes), he was accused of crimes against humanity, scrapping education, cannibalistic CBT ("He wants me to go back to Guinea to eat my testicles" - Severo Moto), corruption, plutocracy, autocracy, (carnival in Brazil with its theme and bragging shamefully) ethnocentrism (why yes) and personality cult (state radio in 2003 classified him as a god).

Chin Cheng Hanji

Historically speaking, China had some unqualified rulers, usually near the end of the dynasty's lifespan. According to the Mandate of Heaven, if the ruler is very incompetent, he dooms his entire dynasty and a new, more competent dynasty replaces them.

Jin Dynasty

W.I.P

Super Mario Land

W.I.P

Antonio Razzi (pRoPieRtA dI BeRLuScOnNI)

Antonio Razzi (Giuliano Teatino, February 22, 1948) is an Italian politician and television personality

In the 2006 elections, he was elected to the Chamber of Deputies on the Italia dei Valori list in the Foreign - Europe constituency and confirmed in the 2008 general elections. About ten years later, in an interview with the show Le Iene, he declared that the vote of Italians residing abroad would be piloted through electoral fraud organized by local sections of patronates and trade unions that would take care of sending stolen ballots or making people vote illegally.

He is often criticized for his lack of skills and for his difficulty in mastering the Italian language. This difficulty in expressing oneself correctly in Italian was also noted in a speech to the Senate in June 2013. When interviewed by un giorno da pecora, Razzi claimed to be "owned by Berlusconi, what he tells me I do". He also added that for Berlusconi he would do "anything, even throw himself under a train" On the occasion of the election of the President of the Republic in 2015, he declared that he was also ready to vote for Totò Riina, if Berlusconi asked him.

Razzi has repeatedly expressed positive judgments on North Korea's policy and on the work of Kim Jong-un, calling him "a moderate" who "is trying to bring some democracy to that country". In fact, he denied that the country is under dictatorship, comparing North Korea to the "Switzerland of the East" with "beautiful and very clean streets [...] There you can go easy, nobody touches you. It's not Rome. Perhaps it is the safest nation I know ". Contrary to United Nations claims, the senator denied that there are prison camps in North Korea stating that at most "there are very large tomato greenhouses, never seen so big, they will be those, they mistake them for camps " According to him, Kim Jong-Un and his generals "are very good people" and have no belligerent intentions. Razzi also denied that North Korea is in possession of the atomic bomb, contrary to numerous international sources as well as the numerous nuclear tests that North Korea still carries out. On 31 August 2014, together with Matteo Salvini, he visited North Korea again and delivers a letter to the president of the Supreme People's Assembly Kim Yong-nam addressed to the dictator Kim Jong-un.

Kurwa go clean toilet

W.I.P

Krzysztof Kononowicz (nJe bęDzIE niCzeGo)

Krzysztof Kononowicz is a Polish youtuber and a self-proclaimed local governmental activist. In 2006 he was a candidate for the mayor of Białystok in the local elections. He is known mostly for his election campaign and a corresponding campaign ad, in which he proposed banning all drugs, alcohol and cigarettes for young people, taking the police out to the streets, liquidating "bureaucracity" and "loutishness" etc., suddenly started recalling his family's history and current state, relied on a highly rudimentary choice of words and clothing unbefitting an actual politician and so on. Since then his list of exploits and antics has included (and is not limited to) burning the Islamic State flag, being imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital, supporting Robert Biedroń in elections due to mistakenly believing his newly-founded party to be a predominantly pro-environment faction ("beacuse Spring is..the spring, pleasure, happiness, honesty, trees are blooming, everything, fruits, apples, pears, plums, sweet cherries, cherries, mirabelles, sorrel, everything grows, pears, tomatoes, cucumbers, everything and vote for Spring the Party, beacuse it's very, very, the party is very honest and truthful of Ryszard Biedroń") and denying the existence of COVID pandemic.

Aleksander Jabłonowski (w cO gRasZ kuRwA)

Aleksander Jabłonowski, (real name Wojciech Olszański) is a Polish actor, who started vlogs on youtube. Is considered a "patostreamer" (portmanteau of the words "pathology" and "stream"). He gained notoriety for anti-semitic, homophobic and staunchly pro-russian views, rape-supporting, anti-vaccination and other conspiracy theories. He thinks that NATO is the worst enemy of Poland and supports Vladimir Putin and Alexander Lukashenko. Jabłonowski himself used to be an actor, so it's theorized his controversial views may be just a part of live-action role-play. He also threatened children, made childish facial expressions and has shown insane behaviours such as chanting and so on, in his patostreams.

Andrzej Duda (muSisZ byĆ TWardY)

Andrzej Duda is the 5th president of Poland, known for general incompetence like lack of knowledge of English, signing any bill his party orders him to sign, calling Poland "Polin" on Hanukkah, telling the survivors of The Volyn Massacre to "Watch words" on the anniversary of the event, saying such phrases as "When you're a President you gotta be tough" (despite only being a rubberstamp for the party) and releasing a cryptic, out of touch rap music video as a part of Hot16Challenge campaign meant to raise funds for the medical personnel during the COVID pandemic.

Zbigniew Stonoga (Nje wartło biło kurła)

Zbigniew Stonoga is a Polish journalist and youtuber, who is one of the most infamous anti-PiS politicians. He supported the presidential candidacy of Janusz-Korwin Mikke, but then he opposed the Confederation coalition. He created a party called Stonoga Partia Polska (Polish Stonoga Party). Online, he is mostly known for videos where he insults the PiS government and minister of justice Zbigniew Ziobro.

Władysław Gomułka (WjeSt je pOStemP cZy nIE mA poSTeMpU)

W.I.P

Bronisław Komorowski (hoĆ cZOguNiE)

Bronisław Komorowski was the 4th president of Poland from 2010 to 2015 and has become infamous for his numerous Bushism-esque gaffes committed while in office. More notorious examples include standing on a chair in Japanese National Diet and ordering the Chief of the National Security Bureau to "c'mere, shogun", stealing the Swedish Queen's glass of champagne when trying to make a toast, making spelling mistakes when submitting an entry in the condolence book after the Great East Japan Earthquake, falling asleep during the state celebrations, using the Wikipedia page as a cheat sheet during the meeting of National Security Council and being the author of phrases such as "the thing about water is that it accumulates and poses a danger, then flows into the Baltic Sea", "beacuse Mr. President, Poland and USA are like marriage. You gotta trust your wife, but you gotta occasionally check if she's faithful" (nobody in the room laughed) or "there is a saying that a Polish aviator will fly on the barn door if he has to. So Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not bound to happen. They will be flying the F-16s".

Bri'ish oi bruv its chewsday innit

Æthelred II the Unready (tOtAlY rEdY)

The nickname "Unready" (Old English unræd, poorly advised) alludes to his careless decisions with deplorable consequences for the state, which the king took without receiving help from his advisers, or by ignoring them.

During the reign of Æthelred, England suffered from constant raids by the Danes. Æthelred, perhaps supported by the Normans as a result of his marriage with Emma of Normandy, issued an edict authorizing the killing of Danes living in England, thus demonstrating his intention to kill them all. King's plan was prepared in strict secrecy. On 13th of November, 1002, all the Danes living in England were mercilessly slaughtered, known as the St. Brice's Day massacre.

John Lackland (aLl My LaNdS gOnE)

WIP

Neville Chamberlain (pEaCe iN oUr tImE)

Neville Chamberlain was the PM of the United Kingdom from 1937 to 1940. He is considered to be one of the worst Prime Ministers due to his foreign policy of appeasement, which did not prove effective at containing Nazism. The most infamous example of appeasement was the Munich Agreement, where he handed over Czechoslovakia to Nazi Germany because he believed it was not worth fighting for. He claimed it would bring "peace in our time" when it only gave the 3rd Reich an advantage before the proper beginning of WW2. Chamberlain resigned in 1940 due to a lack of internal and popular support.

Many historians believe that appeasement was done because the British army was not in a good condition to fight another major war.

Liz Truss (wE deLivErD eNerGi pRaIcE gaRanTi)

Liz Truss was the 55th Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, until resigning on October 20th, 2022 just 44 days after being sworn in, serving the shortest term in UK prime ministerial history. Her government was marked by a crash in the pound, massive tax cuts that were paid only by borrowing (which were completely U-turned), union strikes, high inflation, big increase in bond yields.

Many of her speeches have become memes on the internet, with the main sources of "Liz truss memes" being on the PoliticsJOE [5] Youtube channel. There are many examples such as her mispronouncing the name of Ireland's parliament (Taoiseach) as "Irish tea sock" and also not being able to say the word "literate", talking about implementing spelling tests when she was education minister. She has also been known to cosplay Thatcher [6] only for political attention. She is also known to respond to any kind of PMQ from the opposition with either "we delivered on the energy price guarantee" or "Putin caused energy prices to soar" and saying that she wants to "crackdown on the militant unions" while at the same saying she is pro-worker, even when Keir Starmer made a joke about her term in office.

In her final PMQs, she mentioned that she is a "fighter, not a quitter" in response to the U-turns that were taken on every single proposal she promised in the leadership campaign against Sunak. Despite this, soon after the PMQs, she announced her rage-quit resignation, lasting for a shorter time than lettuce [7].

Milo Yiannopoulos

WIP

Andrew Tate (wAt CaLaH iZ uR BwUgAti)

Andrew Tate is a British-American influencer, retired kickboxer, and generally considered misogynist living in Romania. He has become a target of mockery for his views on women, that men should be able to cheat on their wives, and that men prefer dating 18-19 year olds because they are "likely to have had sex with fewer men". Aside from misogyny he is often mocked for believing that depression is not real.

Recently, he ran into legal issues when he released a response video to Swedish environmentalist Greta Thunberg after being insulted by the former, where he accidentally showed a pizza box belonging to a Romanian restaurant, confirming his location in Romania and leading to him and his brother being arrested by Romanian authorities in December of 2022.

Ged-day MAYT! Wellcum to ‘straya

Anthony Albanese (wHyElL wHeRe fiTiNg iNfLaTiOn, dA lbRaLl pArti iZ fiTiNg cUlTur wOrs!)

The Prime Minister of Australia, Anthony Albanese has been accused of being kakistocratic, mainly due to his broken promises of trying to curve inflation and ending the cost-of-living crisis in Australia, as well as Albanese making extremely contradictory statements, such as when on his X account, where he stated that He and his administration was fighting economic issues while the Liberal Party was “fighting Culture Wars”. Another reason for the accusations is the Voice to Parliament, where throughout much of 2023, he tried to implement an “advisory body for Aboriginals” through a voting process, with it resulting in a resounding defeat. He has also been accused of trying to undermine Australia’s National Sovereignty by getting closer to the United States while not asserting Australia’s power when China attacked an Australian Ship in 2023. All the while accusing the Liberal Party of doing nothing to help Australians when they were in power. Overall, this has lead to opponents questioning if he was ever able to lead Australia.

Reddit

W.I.P

r/PoliticalCompassMemes (aUtHrIgHt ChAd lIblEfT SoY fLaIr Up! 1!!1!1!!!)

r/PoliticalCompassMemes is a subreddit dedicated to ridiculing stereotypes on the political compass, ranging both from left-right and authoritarian-libertarian. While the content is usually harmless, since 2020 and the COVID-19 pandemic, the subreddit has gained a lot of alt-lite members following a wave of bans across the website, which many believe has degraded the quality of its content.

Nowadays, the subreddit is notorious because of often low-effort (usually right-wing) agenda posts with dogwhistles for fascism, racism, conspiracy theories or basically any extreme ideology. They've also been accused of political illiteracy.

While there is a general reputation of r/PoliticalCompassMemes being a right-wing circle-jerk from people across different platforms, many users have proceeded to just get T R I G G E R E D massively butthurt over this, coping by making low-quality comics which just re-use the same soyjak template over and over, where their critics are poorly strawmanned, usually being represented as soyjak/SJW stereotypes, who is then contrasted to the "based", "unbiased", and "chad" PCM users. Unsurprisingly considering this is reddit, these posts tend to get extreme amounts of karma from fellow users, making the posters of such comics think that it somehow makes them "right".

The posts can be marked with tags, the most popular one being "Agenda Post" which is used to memes in which the author's quadrant appears as a "based gigachad" had while another quadrant which the author doesn't like appears as a crying wojak.

The "memes" (if you can call them that) have the following:

  • Green LibLeft - In the early days of political compass memes, libleft, at least in it's less extreme form was initially the voice of reason between the other three quadrants, abstaining from the greed, totalitarianism, hatred, rascism, classism, and genocide that the other quadrants to varying degrees exhibited, as well as usually being representative of libertarian-wing of the socialist movement, usually being explicitly an anarcho-communist, however nowadays this has largely been changed significantly, with libleft usually being turned into a strawman against mainstream liberals and social media progressives that lean even vaguely to the left of center, as of now there are now currently 3 main stereotypes that represent libleft: The first would be a soyboy mainstream media fan (and they would be all the evil in the world, definitely not biased, trust me); The second would be a chronically online SJW fascinated by tiktok and twitter, as well as the LGBT subculture, and other forms of identity politics generally, such as Transgenderism, fourth-wave feminism, the Neurodiversity movement, and Minority Representation, usually is now used interchangably with Orange LibLeft.The third would be a generic stereotype of an antifa hooligan.
    • Orange LibLeft, aka PCM's archnemesis - basically the SJW stereotype commonly associated with the LibLeft quadrant. Sometimes associated with the Left Unity quadrant due to claims that Orange Libleft were " green on the outside while red on the inside", similar to a watermelon. Despite the original idea being made by genuine liblefts and other leftists to parody pseudo-liblefts, who only proclaim to be fellow liblefts yet act entirely contrary to those values, similar to Polcompball's ideology State Liberalism, Orange libleft now is most often been used to represent libleft as a whole.
  • AuthRight - It has 5 stereotypes: The first would be a conservative Christian pro-Trump right-wing populist; The second would be a masculine traditionalist "based gigachad" (yup, totally not biased); The third would be a racist/Nazi/Alt-Right stereotype, used by some left-wing users; The fourth would be a theocratic tyrant king, full of perks and absurdly rich, in other words, a crass stereotype; And the fifth would be a religious fundamentalist which varies based on various religions, especially Jihadists, Catholic bishops or The Crusaders.
  • AuthLeft - Literally a stereotype of communists created by rightists, that is, a stuff-doing dictator under whom 1000000000000 people die of starvation or execution, hammer and sickle in every corner, propaganda and giant autocracy. Other variants of the Authleft Stereotype would be the Winnie the Pooh/Xi Jinpooh wojak when the meme was centered on Chinese politics, used by users critical of China/ pro-ROC users, or sometimes represented by Vladimir Putin for the Russian version, despite Putin being AuthUnity (leaning right) Occasionally (and erroneously), this quadrant is also used to refer to policy decisions of the United States Democratic Party.
  • Yellow LibRight - It has 3 stereotypes: The most used, which would be a gigantic stereotype of a self-centered capitalist who loves money above all, an extreme fan of private property or anything private (which paints everything gay in the month of June while reverting things back by the beginning of the month of July); The second stereotype would be an obese 14-year-old MGTOW otaku cryptobro; The third one is a self-proclaimed "free thinker" who never questions anything Elon Musk and Ron Paul say.
    • Purple LibRight - A pedophile kidnapper/child rapist (usually with candy) who is a fan of Jeffrey Epstein, and who would have child slaves.
  • Centrists - A cook and the "I Just Wanna Grill for God's Sake" meme, being seen as either based or a coward. Divided into two factions, the radical centrists and the grey centrists
  • LibUnity - An extremely regressionist monkey who keeps saying "Reject human, embrace monkey" or a Neoluddist who keeps saying how "The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race". Also represented by Anti-Authoritarians who fight against Authunity.
  • AuthUnity - Literally a stereotypical totalitarian tyrant dictator / AuthRight's third stereotype. Some people misplace National Bolshevism as it is AuthLeft because of the economy.
  • Right Unity - Sometimes used to depict a stereotypical rightist, especially when comparing to a stereotypical leftist ( Left Unity) in memes, usually in the form of Chad Soyjak meme format. May also be used to describe most right-populists, moderate nationalists or neoconservatives.
  • Off-compass positions - used in the "me normally vs me when X" memes to depict user's reaction(s) towards a specific issue(s).
  • Unflaired are scum and should flair up with an exception of u/--UNFLAIRED--

r/okbuddyretard

r/okbuddyretard is an intentionally kakistocratic subreddit. As implied by the name, people there intentionally act like retarded kids, both in their posts (memes that mostly follow the "caption on top, caption at the bottom" format with topics such as ur mom) and in the comment section, where emojis are commonly overused.

FPCB

The Free Polcompball Wiki, otherwise more commonly known by it's initials, FPCB, is an infamous part of the Polcompball community that is known for hosting many banned users, most of them banned for supporting extreme ideologies such as Fascism, Nazism, National Bolshevism or National Capitalism.
While not all members of FPCB are banned, in fact most of the community is only on FPCB as well as the main part of the community (Ie: The main wiki and the Anarchy Wiki) as a way to have a larger scope on the community.

Notes on the Drama

We should note you that you shouldn't give more attention to FPCB and the Drama, as it's a quite heated topic in the community. So please view them at a safe distance.

Purzanaleti

Kakistocracy is to be portrayed as an absolute fool in pretty much all situations, he is often very immature going beyond the realm of just being an imbecile (having the mental maturity of a teenager) into the realm of being an idiot (having the mental maturity of a prepubescent child). He speaks in the heavily cringeworthy dialect of Temspeak*, as he is not illiterate, just absolutely brain-dead.

*(I.e. "Hello, my name is Kakistocracy. becomes "HOI!!! I'm iz KAKISTOCRACY!!!11!!!!")

His idiocy is often shown with him wearing a propeller beanie, adoring immature and crude memes (like "Big Chungus", "Doin ur mom", etc.), and generally lacking any proper experience on any subject. Generally tries to be friendly with most non-"nerd" and non-darwinist ideologies, but is largely ignored and/or despised by everyone else (except for Machajskism and Pol Potism).

Huw to Drah

Flag of Kakistocracy

The design for Kakistocracy is based on [8] this flag by the user u/ErinsHere on the r/vexillology subreddit.

  1. Drah a bol.
  2. Drah a straype of light-gween.
  3. Drah a white silhuette of hed in profile.
  4. Drah an Ω on the faice's forehed, awso in light-gween.
  5. Drah (optiunaley tiltad) eys.
  6. Drah a proppelar hat and ure done.
Color Name HEX RGB
Light Green #00D560 0, 213, 96
White #FFFFFF 255, 255, 255


Relayshunshipz

KEWL FWENZ

(Note: the friendships are mostly one-sided)

MEENIE DOO DOO HED

Picturz

Photoes

Altelnates!!111!

Atrwrk

Furfer Infrumayshun

Bookz

Wickeepeediuh

Videeoz and Songz

Online Cumuniteez

Othar

Partyz

Notes

  1. Most of FPCB are Banned Polcompball Users.
  2. Bogdan Hristoz is Ukrainian Instagram user, who one day became a meme.
  3. Hristoz was accused of drug addiction. In return he statad that he "drinks some religion pills"
  4. Nguema personally admired Kim Il-sung, and was reportedly friends with him. After Nguema's ousting from power, his daughter Mónica Macías remained and grew up in North Korea.
  5. During his reign, Macìas changed the national motto to "There is no other God than Macías Nguema"
  6. Olszański claims to dislike The Catholic Church in public, yet sang in 'TVP Trwam after being paid by Father Rydzyk.
  7. ‘‘An ignorant people is a docile people’’ - Juan Vicente Gómez
  8. Mayor of Maipu from 2016 to 2021. She became infamous for spending municipal money on things like painting her car gold, bootleg pokemon plushies, bronze plaques with her name printed on them, and other absurd things that ended up bankrupting Maipú. During her management, Maipu became one of the poorest and dangerous communes in Chile.
  9. Burkina Faso's general shape looks like the car, as well as previous having been called "Upper Volta" ("Volta" being similir to the "Volt") during French colonial years.

References

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